Thirty years ago, if someone wanted to confess their feelings, they would sit down at a table with a pen and a sheet of paper. They would write the letter, reread it, seal the envelope and post it. A reply might arrive in a week, or it might take a month. There was a certain magic in that anticipation. Today, we get anxious if the person we’re messaging doesn’t reply within fifteen minutes. The evolution of dating, from paper letters to video calls, has spanned an entire human lifetime. But the biggest changes are happening right now, before our very eyes.
How has the ritual of searching for a soulmate changed? Where will we be in five years when artificial intelligence and high-speed internet have finally erased the boundaries between the virtual and the real?
The Age of Patience: When Words Were Worth Their Weight in Gold
In the 1980s and 1990s, newspapers had classified ad sections. The ‘Seeking a Serious Relationship’ section was filled with modest phrases such as: ‘Tall, no bad habits, looking for a kind and domestic woman.’ People wrote real letters to each other. They put their photos in envelopes (the ones they’d spent three days selecting at the photo studio).
What set that era apart?
- Mindfulness. You couldn’t write nonsense. Every word was carefully considered. Delivery times taught patience and the value of waiting.
- There were minimal illusions. You only saw one photo and some text. Your imagination filled in the rest, but it was a calculated risk.
- There was serious intent. People who made it to the ‘in-person meeting’ stage were serious about it. There were no casual ‘swipes’.
Then came the first dating sites: “Mamba”, “LovePlanet”, and, in the West, Match.com. Messengers knocked on the door. Messaging became instantaneous. The romance of envelopes became a thing of the past, making way for speed. But, along with patience, we lost something important: the depth of that first impression.
The present: The Dictatorship of Content and Choice Fatigue
Today, the online dating industry is a massive, billion-dollar market. Tinder, Bumble and Badoo have turned the search for a partner into a game. The process is straightforward: a photo, a brief description, and swiping right or left. It’s ingenious in its mechanics, but has terrible consequences.
We’ve gone from having no choice to having too much of it. People are no longer seen as individuals. They’re “products” in a feed. Psychologists are sounding the alarm: dating app users are suffering en masse from impostor syndrome and burnout.
Other formats have developed in parallel. Initially, voice messages seemed like a lifeline: you could hear intonation, laughter and pauses. But they quickly turned into torture. There were long, 10-minute “voicemails” that were impossible to replay, and you felt guilty if you didn’t respond immediately.
The key problem at this stage is the mismatch between expectation and reality. You message each other for two weeks, falling in love with the perfectly chosen words and emojis. But when you meet, you realise that the voice isn’t right, the gestures are annoying and their sense of humour doesn’t translate to real life. Why does this happen? Because text is a filter. It hides 90% of the real person.
The future is already here: Why Video Will Replace Everything Else
The online dating industry is on the verge of another revolution. Its name is real-time video chat. Not pre-recorded video messages that can be re-shot 50 times, but live contact ‘here and now’.
What’s driving this trend?
- High-speed internet. 5G and fibre optics have made video calls as commonplace as text messages were ten years ago.
- There is fatigue with fakes. People are tired of filters, Photoshop and fabricated biographies. Video is the last bastion of honesty. You can’t wear a mask for long.
- Time savings. In just three minutes of video chat, you can learn more about someone than you can in three days of messaging. You see facial expressions, reactions to jokes and quick thinking right away.
Random video calls solve the problem of “swipe depression”. It brings back the excitement and spontaneity. You aren’t scrolling through hundreds of profiles looking for the perfect photo. With a single click, you find yourself face-to-face with a real person, whether they’re in another country or just down the road. It’s honest. It’s quick. It’s like real life, only without having to wash your hair before leaving the house.
Where to practise the communication skills of the future?
There are already services that are ahead of the curve. They’ve done away with profiles and complex matching algorithms. Their philosophy is live video without intermediaries.
One of the standout representatives of this new generation is camloo.com. This service brings together millions of users worldwide. Simply select your preferred gender (or leave it to chance), press ‘Start’ and within a second you’ll be chatting with someone thousands of miles away. The interface is minimalist, with no distracting buttons. It’s just you, the camera and a new acquaintance. It’s the perfect testing ground for those who want to hone their live communication skills without leaving home.
The paper has run out. Let’s turn on the cameras.
We stand at the crossroads of eras. Paper letters have become museum exhibits and collector’s items. Long messaging app conversations are gradually losing their value — they’re too slow for the modern pace of life. Even voice messages are becoming outdated. People don’t want to wait. They want to see.
The decade of video lies ahead. The technology is already in place. The internet can download gigabytes. Cameras in laptops and smartphones can shoot in 4K. The only thing left to overcome is our own fear. The fear of “them seeing the real me” and of “awkward pauses”.
But think about this: In real life, when you’re out in public, people see the real you, too. The only difference is that video chat allows you to make mistakes. You can close your laptop and start again. It’s a safe space for adults to experiment. It’s a place where you can get to know people again without pretence or filters, and without endlessly scrolling through empty profiles. The future is here. And it’s looking right at you through the lens. Take the first step.
